Crime

Zombie, Waylon Jenkins, is dead set on proving that cosmetology can save the world... What's a zombie — who also happens to be a cosmetologist — to do when dead bodies show up with missing limbs and the local police captain thinks the zombie did it? “After all,” the captain reasons, “who else needs the spare parts?” For Waylon, it involves being dragged into a deep cover zombie military unit where good moisturizer isn't enough to protect his friends or the peaceful life he's struggled to build. Besides, all he really wants to do is die. Written by J.D. Blackrose. © 2022 Falstaff Books, LLC ℗ 2025 Soundbooth Theater

Based (verrrrrry loosely) on True Events. Alexis Lieberman has been hacked. And not just hacked like someone stole her credit card information and did something reasonable, like buy a new TV or go to Aruba. Oh, nooooooo, of course not. No, she got hacked, and her credit card was used to buy the most vile, disgusting thing she could even contemplate. Sub sandwiches with extra mayo. That’s right — her identity was stolen and all they got was some cheap sub sandwich delivery, and not even good subs at that. But that’s beside the point. The point is that her identity was stolen, the sanctity of her computing world was violated, and it is high time that the evildoers were brought to justice, and made to answer for their crimes against Lexi — and against lunches worldwide. I mean, really. Extra mayo? Who even does that? But now Lexi has another problem. Nobody cares. Not the local police, not the police in the town where the subs were fraudulently purchased, not even the FBI, who’s supposed to handle things like interstate wire fraud, international drug cartels, and human trafficking. No, there’s no evidence of international drug cartels or human trafficking, but there’s also no evidence that those things aren’t involved, now is there? So Lexi, after a long afternoon day drinking with her next door neighbor and BFF, Rhonda Mabry, she does the only thing she can think of — she loads up the Prius and heads off to Orlando in search of justice and whoever would order extra mayo. I mean, gross. Along the way, there are drunken bar fights, drunken Bar Olympics, underwear malfunctions, a visit to at least one drunk tank, a fling with a man missing his eyebrows (which may or may not be Lexi’s doing), a showdown with the Russian mob, and a mechanical bull named Hornicus Prime.

WARNING: Contains strong language. My name is Ellis DeAngelo. I tend to get caught in the midst of trouble quite often. I'm an unlucky guy, but fortunate to have friends to help me out. These aren't the memoirs of a geisha you'll be reading. And most definitely not some soul-searching discovery that depicts eating, praying, and loving. This is so much better ... or worse, depending on your perspective. To sum up: I think I'm going to die. Not of old age, mind you, or in a tragic accident. My boss is trying to kill me. It all starts when I'm ... You don't really think I'm going into all the details now, do you? I mean, come on - look at the size of the space I'm provided here. I couldn't possibly cover everything in such a small area. That's what the book is for. Start listening! ©2016 Timothy Dalton (P)2021 Soundbooth Theater

Waylon Jenkins can't die. He also can't let Dr. Samuel Early, his only hope of dying, go off on a mission to rescue a disembodied zombie in the heart of a Central American jungle without him. But even this skilled cosmetologist to the stars isn't fully prepared to blend-blend-blend himself into a convincing member of a strike team; not when his first instincts are to give moisturizer recommendations to sunburned vacationers. As Waylon and company delve into the jungle, they uncover a much bigger problem than the drug cartels. Someone is after Rodrigo Flores and his family, and it's personal. The only way to help the family get through it alive is to help Flores' daughter, Amalia, win the Miss Mango Pageant. Will Waylon's skills — and his famous friend and client, Mitzi (one name only) — be the team's secret weapon? Can Waylon get through it without breaking his vow never to make a zombie? And who is the mysterious “Señor Cinco” that seems to be behind it all? Hold on to your butt paste. This is going to get wild. © 2022 Falstaff Books, LLC ℗ 2025 Soundbooth Theater

Captain Perkins has once again dragged Waylon Jenkins, zombie and cosmetologist to the biggest Hollywood stars, into a murder case. Eyeless and missing hands, the bodies tingle the experienced officer’s "woo-woo" sense, and the captain demands that Jenkins help find the killer. Unfortunately, one of the victims is linked to Waylon’s favorite client, mononymous Hollywood “it girl,” Mitzi. Meanwhile, Jenkins’ new luxury cosmetic line struggles with several federal agencies, especially since “dehydrated zombie skin cells” aren’t an FDA-approved ingredient. To complicate matters, “Miss Mango,” Amalia, tricks Waylon into building a treehouse for a charity playground, and his executive assistant, Mrs. Betsy Ross, floats through the house in a fit of ghostly depression. Not to mention, a new mystery man has taken over as CEO of The Industries; and if that isn’t enough, Waylon desperately needs a body to loan him an ear. © 2022 Falstaff Books, LLC ℗ 2025 Soundbooth Theater

Waylon and his friends take a much-needed vacation to Disney World, only to find themselves caught up in another murder mystery when Joy Lucky drowns in their hotel pool. Both the past and "attack flamingos" catch up with Waylon as he tries to clear his name. Mitzi and Amalia are invited to ride on a parade float, the zombie team checks out an alligator farm, and Dr. Sang gets cozy with a sexy local medical examiner in this raucous romp through "The Happiest Place on Earth." © 2022 Falstaff Books, LLC ℗ 2025 Soundbooth Theater